"Love is given because you feel it, not because you owe it. F*ck Valentine's Day." - Maureen & Guides
In my efforts to find something inspiring or even good for a laugh to post on my Facebook page this Friday the 13th, the day before the effervescent holiday that is Valentine's Day, I was disappointed to realize that mostly what was out there was a bunch of dribble. How disappointing. Why couldn't I find something cute and quick to just help people enjoy their day? I watched clips of babies laughing, read some potentially staged romantic proposals and 'love stories' on youtube...but nothing scratched the itch. In fact, not even close. And that got me to thinking....I know this blog is meant to be a vehicle for the Guides and I to interact with you. It's meant for them to get their perspective out there (as in the Racism Blog). They can even use it to teach (as they attempted to do with the first blog where they talked about intuition and promised a second blog on 'how' to find your intuition.) But there's something you gotta know about my guides - they change their mind a lot. They go with the flow. They 'read' what people want and then alter accordingly.
Most of you who are reading this blog don't really care what the subject matter is...you don't care if we write another blog on intuition or if we again intend to use daily events (or a Maclean's article) as a vehicle to open your mind to a different perspective. You're just curious to see the Guides' perspective in general, and mine as the channel. Fair enough. So we have decided to write what we want, and when we feel like it. (Cue a contented sigh and dramatic musical interlude of angels trumpeting as the skies part.)
So screw the 'Part 2 - How To Discover Intuition' blog. It's not coming. All of that stuff will be in the courses, IF of course I ever let those little babies out of my grasp enough to do some beginning testing with a 'tester group'. I keep thinking of ways I could improve the courses and thus don't publish them to be purchased. (I know, call me a perfectionist - I'm working on it. No one ever said I wasn't human just because I channel - I'm just a normal chick who channels, right?).
So today? This blog is for me. Moi. My opinion...fuelled by my guides' humour and perspective of course, but they're giving me more rope than usual. I can feel it. They've taught me enough about a more radical lens with which to look at life over the 8 1/2 years I've been with them, that they now feel I am ready to express it in my way, warts and all. So let's start with my definition of Valentine's Day...
Valentine's Day: a holiday that encourages people to feel sad and lonely if they aren't in the perfect relationships as depicted by society; a holiday that encourages others to feel special and happy if they ARE in those said relationships.
I googled where St. Valentine's Day originated and it wasn't overly exciting or valid, so to imagine that we continue this tradition every year is kinda silly.
Want sillier? Why is it, that we live in a society where 364 days a year we don't value relationship - whether it be romantic or otherwise? One day a year we're supposed to pull out all the stops (and drain our pocketbooks) to tell everyone we love how great they are. Um....who the heck as a society decided that this was suffice, this once-a-year expression of love? Why is it, that we are still falling for these poorly-created holidays? And for that matter - why is it only for one day that we should be grateful for the love in our life and celebrate it? Why is this not at least a month theme, no different than 'Black History' month which has been assigned to February in Canada? Don't get it. The way our society deals with holidays is a bit out of date. Love is important to celebrate more than once a year, isn't it?
So I have a proposal. F*ck Valentine's Day. (And if you're lucky, get a f*ck in on Valentine's Day, even if it's with yourself. Come on, you're worth it!) Instead of one day a year, I propose that we get rid of Valentine's Day altogether. Not because we shouldn't celebrate people who are important to us, but because the idea that this is such an event that it should have a holiday, rather than be a way of living, is just plain ridiculous.
So instead of going out with your loved ones or beloved on Valentine's Day, or feeling bad if you're not doing something 'special' for Valentine's Day, try this instead:
1. Do NOT contact anyone on Valentine's Day and tell them that you love them because it's 'the day to do it'. Instead, be original and contact them TODAY. Be a rebel. Show them that you think for yourself and don't follow a blind trend of 'tell the one you love' because some power-that-be has decided that Feb.14 looks like a good day for that. Or don't contact your loved ones at all around this holiday time. That would make you a rebel too.
2. Don't feel sorry for yourself. It's a bit of a set-up - if you do 'celebrate' Valentine's Day and are expecting what they offer up as 'normal' in Movieland, you know you're going to be upset when your lover doesn't treat you to a dozen roses, breakfast in bed (of course after a night of the best lovemaking you've ever experienced), and those diamond earrings you've been eyeing. Don't do it - you're falling into the Valentine's Day trap. And yes, you could use this holiday as a reminder to love, and even to love yourself more this coming year...blah blah blah.
Why aren't you loving yourself every day, just because you are deserving of that self-love every moment? Yeah I know...seems ridiculously apparent when you think about it, huh? So you're not allowed to wallow if you don't have the 'best Valentine's day' ever - whether by the unrealistic expectations you place upon your loved ones, or the expectations you place upon yourself to get in a little more self-loathing that day because you are 'alone'. (Are we ever alone? Guess that concept is potentially for another blog.)
3. Make the decision that instead of a calendar and society deciding that on Feb. 14 you should celebrate love, that you are going to celebrate love every day. And not just to be a rebel, but because it makes sense. How else do you expect to have a happy, content life, if you don't love yourself or others? So make it a priority today, to decide that you put love first. Not on Valentine's Day, but every day, and for no other reason than because it makes sense to live out your life from a full cup, rather than a cracked cup that only gets filled once a year if the 'right' person (from your perspective) buys you the 'right' token of appreciation and expresses himself/herself in the 'right' way. Too much pressure. Instead, take love into your own hands, tap into your own (and for that matter you could tap into the free love that is Source itself), and ride the wave without relying on anyone else.
Cynical perspective? Radical perspective? Foolish perspective?
I can see all of you Cupids getting p*ssed off with me because I've just wrecked your fun. You were planning all of these exciting events/gifts to honour your loved ones and now you feel like I've just rained on your parade. No I haven't. I've just suggested that you consider being that type of person who honors your loved ones 365 days a year, because you want to, not one day a year because when you flip your calendar to February, you see that on Feb. 14 you're supposed to buy chocolates and flowers and cards for those important to you.
But in the end, since this beautiful life of ours is in fact a game of experiences and learning, you can do what you want. And what am I going to do? Enjoy my loved ones every day. Oh, and I'm going to wait for February 15 and then go and buy 50% off chocolate and flower bouquets. If society is foolish enough to fall for marketing of buying marked up goods to fuel the economy, I can be savvy enough to take advantage of the aftersale, can't I?
And so can you. So think for yourself, rather than follow the flock, and love people because you wanna, not because you have to.
Over and out,
Maureen & Guides
Oh, and p.s. - give your religious/spiritual dogma lens a really good overhaul if you think this blog can't be fuelled by spiritual guides - after all, since when do Guides approve of sarcasm, swearing, and satire? Ummm...all the time. Cause you know what? Source has a fabulous sense of humor.
Pass it on!! Did this inspire you, make you chuckle, or challenge you thinking? Want to influence someone else's day? Forward this to a friend so that they too can follow this blog. It's as simple as joining our free membership to join the Source Within community (interaction with the Guides, forum, free monthly podcast, and Maureen & Guides' blog!). Click here for your free membership!
copyright Source Within 2015. All Rights Reserved.
Addendum written on Feb 14, 2018
My my, how 3 years will change one's perspective, as will a good dose of love. Though I still stand by the fact that people who are single should not allow Valentine's Day to be a mirror to them that makes them feel bad about themselves because they don't have a person sending them flowers or chocolates, my perspective has softened. And why? Well, I guess because I have softened. I have finally met a partner who is living out what I was saying, showing me 365 days a year that he loves me, by his actions and his words. This will be our second Valentine's Day together and I am reassured of his love, not because it's Valentine's Day and I may get an acknowledgement of it in some way, but because he shows me daily that he appreciates who I am. So my above blog, though fired with a bit of anger/cynicism, and clearly written when I was single, still stands. In no way should we be so manipulated by societal expectations such as Hallmark-type holidays like Valentine's Day, that it becomes a negative day if you aren't in a relationship. Then make it about self-love and remind yourself that some day, you can be in that place again where this day won't feel like rubbing salt in a wound but instead will be a day of expression of love with your current partner. And in the meantime have it represent loving yourself and others in a platonic way. I was single for 8 years after my divorce which I think is a long time, and spent way too many Valentine's Days feeling 'left out' of this holiday until I made it about treating myself that day, going out with a friend (assuming they were single too) or doing some other special activity 'just for me' so that I wasn't left out of this Valentine's Day Club.
And now, being in a relationship, I realize that I/we can ride the wave of the potential romanticism of this day, if we want to partake. Hopefully without the expectation that by doing so today, the other 364 days are less important to express my respect and appreciation for my partner, or his for me. This is just like any other day, and perhaps could be viewed as a tool to create some loving excitement between you two that seems slightly different because everyone else is riding the same wave at the same time. Heighten your love making, go out and celebrate with other people celebrating either the love of their couplehood or their own self-love, all the while knowing nothing will change in your behavior towards yourself or your loved one tomorrow. Love and the expression of love, should be a 365 day a year job, nothing less. Happy Valentine's Day everyone...and if you're in the mode of 'fuck Valentine's Day'... I get ya...then you're sick of the pressure of this day. That's okay, then make it a self-love holiday because you deserve it!
copyright Source Within 2018. All rights reserved.